Advice On Kicking A Bad Habit

by dove2679

posted on 05/15/2009

Kicking the habit

Many of us harbor a bad habit or two. Whether it's smoking, bad eating choices or compulsive shopping, what may start out as semi innocent exploration can soon, perhaps without us even realizing it, begin to consume a portion of our lives. Once we're at the point of acknowledging that there may in fact be a problem seemingly spiraling out of our control, we've taken the first step in the process of crawling back out of the pit we've found ourselves in, in admitting that there may be a problem in the first place.

First and foremost, it is NOONE else's decision but your own to stop whatever it is that you are doing. This is the hardest concept for people on the outside looking in to grasp. It absolutely has to be a conscious choice on our own part to want to stop. Our family and friends mean well when they attempt to intervene, but the outcome is usually the complete and total opposite of what they were hoping for in the first place.

Once YOU have made the conscious choice to take the steps necessary to end the behavior, there are several routes you can take from this point. Forming a buddy system is one that I highly suggest. What this means for you is telling a few people in your life that you can trust to encourage your growth and absolutely not judge your progression, even when you falter. It is detrimental to your well being if at every turn one of your so called cheerleaders is reprimanding or chastising you for a momentary lapse in judgment. While they should hold you accountable, they should be able to do so in a manner that helps you get back up again after you stumble.

The next step is to find something positive to begin to fill in the empty space where the bad habit once lived. Something distractingly productive, a pet perhaps, or a project. For me it was growing my own garden. It gave me freedom and responsibility all at once, as well as the instant gratification of reaping what I sowed and getting to watch while it blossomed before my very eyes.

One of the hardest parts in this process of shedding your old skin is removing yourself from familiar situations that may aide in a relapse. For example, if you used to get bored, or sad and the only thing that made you feel like yourself again was heading to the mall which of course in turn caused you to spend money that you didn't need to be spending, or even that you didn't really have, then when that urge suddenly comes on, call a friend, one from the "inner circle" and rat yourself out. If that seems like to much, then take yourself out of your comfort zone and head to the movies, or a park, occupy your mind for a while with something completely unrelated. Wash your car, clean or organize your closet. Empowering yourself in another manner will eventually have a positive affect not unlike the one you seek from the bad habit that you're trying to kick.

We tend to self destruct by finding the one thing in our lives that we feel we have control over. Whether that's food, or exercise, alcohol or sex, we pour our attention into this thing until it's almost an obsession because we feel somewhere inside that when we are doing this, whatever it is, WE are finally in control. And even if it has a negative and harmful effect on us, we are the one's who chose to let it, no one else. So slowly it begins to take over, little by little replacing morals and priorities we once respected and were accountable to in our lives. It's in recognizing this behavior in ourselves, and then the genuine desire to do something to stop it, that we finally experience a balance of control and peace, and are then able to move past whatever it is that has a hold on us to lead healthier, happier lives.

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